What do you do when the game was mostly a gobbled mess of free throws and the opposing team getting to the rim easily, but Kansas still somehow pulls off the win? You go to a happy place and make a ratings article that has nothing to do with anything that happened in the game. Today, I present to you such an article. But first, as always, the criteria:
5 Stars: Out of this world performance. This is a hard to achieve rating and is only reserved for the most impressive or impressionable performances.
4.5 Stars: Very strong performance, packed the stat sheet, provided undeniable intangibles.
4 Stars: A strong performance that falls just short of the standards above.
3.5 Stars: Above average performance, or perhaps stands out in one category or one aspect of the game.
3 Stars: Average performance. Also could be a very strong game in one aspect but a very poor game in another such as 15 points but seven turnovers. Could also be that the player played, did their job, but didn’t do much spectacularly.
2 Stars: Below average performance, or we simply have higher expectations for the player on this particular night.
1 Star: Rare, but if a player has a stinker in all aspects.
5 Stars: The John Wick movies
The John Wick series is one of the best action movie franchises of the last twenty years. Pumped that number four is on its way into theaters.
No players achieved five star status, but the referees steal the most coveted spot on this list. Yeah, we see you guys already; you’re at the game and you made your presence felt. Then again, free throws were the only thing that kept KU in it as they went approximately six years without a field goal (more like 12 minutes, but close).
4.5 Stars: Point Break
Johnny Utah, baby! Give me Keanu Reeves and Patrick Swayze (RIP) any day. It’s a recipe for success.
KJ Adams was impressive. Twenty two points, six rebounds, and two blocks. He was the only KU player that looked like he had any energy for vast portions of the game. Gassed by the end, KJ still had enough to cut to the basket for a crucial bucket late in the game to cement Kansas’s comeback.
Speaking of impressive, Zach Clemence picked a great time to have his most productive game of the season. Nailed two of three from deep and finished with 10 points and three boards. Without that output, Kansas would’ve been cooked.
4 Stars: Speed
I recently rewatched this movie and it’s better than I initially gave it credit for. This movie was basically Kansas. Down and seemingly out of answers, KU stormed back and won. Happened in Speed as well. See there? I made a connection to the theme. Cool.
Dajuan Harris was solid again. Eight points and five assists in a game that offered very little space thanks to OU’s guarding.
3.5 Stars: The Devil’s Advocate
Keanu Reeves as a high level lawyer never really made sense at the time, but molds were meant to be broken, and this was his chance to change his career path. Seems like it worked out ok. Also, this movie has Al Pacino and Charlize Theron. Not too shabby.
Bobby Pettiford came in for 16 minutes and played fine. Had a point and an assist. He did what needed to be done.
3 Stars: The Matrix movies
The original Matrix movie was so ahead of its time, and I really loved it, but then the sequels started rolling in and I lost interest. The original film keeps this franchise relevant. And I know, I’ll probably be destroyed in the comments for this take, but I stand by it.
Jalen Wilson never got going but it wasn’t for a lack of trying. Eventually, he got his, but 10 of his 17 came from the charity stripe. When they’re calling a foul every possession, might as well dare them to continue the trend.
Gradey Dick was relentlessly guarded throughout. Grabbed some key rebounds, but offensively, he was shut completely down.
Kevin McCullar filled the stat line again (eight and eight), got a big and-one bucket down the stretch, but this just wasn’t a great showing from the transfer.
Joseph Yesufu played sparingly but scored a basket.
2 Stars: A Walk in the Clouds
This is a fine movie, but when I think Keanu, I think action. So while this film is just fine, it just isn’t what I’m looking for.
No one was a two star.
1 Star: Bill and Ted’s Bogus Journey
I saw this when it came out in theaters in 1991 and was as massively disappointed as a young teen could’ve been. The first movie was great, this one blew.
The referees. Again! Thirty nine total fouls and two technicals? Get out of here with that rhythm disrupting garbage. That game was almost impossible to watch.
Chris Teahan Memorial No Star:
Fran said that he thought Zuby Ejiofor coming in cold late in the game could be the boost KU needed and that things like that work out all the time for Bill Self. It didn’t happen this time.